We wholly accept the ‘try before you buy’ ideology when purchasing an item or making an investment of any sort. The general consensus is that one would view a house before they buy or rent it out and you’d test drive a car before you sign on the dotted line and take it home but it has become apparent that most people ignore/forget this general rule of thumb when entering romantic relationships for reasons I will never find in this lifetime.
A few months back, I ran into an old friend of mine who was completely distraught after having received a phone call from an anonymous lady claiming to be the girlfriend and baby mother to a boy she had been seeing for a few months.
Personally, I have no sympathy for women/men who become tempestuous after finding that their ‘significant other’ had conveniently ‘forgot’ to mention offspring they produced in previous relationships or overlook the necessity to end one relationship before entering another. For me, just as buying shares or steaks in a business, relationships are also an investment which require the sacrifice time, effort and resources so in my perspective it is logical to perform a SERVICE CHECK on potential romantic lover BEFORE entering into a relationship with them; make sure the rewards (even the less obvious ones) of the investment are ones that you desire.
Sidebar: In order to develop a formula for performing a service check, I have chosen various quotes I've come across during the course of my life. The names of those I heard it from first will be included and dates I can remember:
"The mouth that doesn’t open won’t get fed" [Mummy, 199since record began]
Ask questions. How many intimate relationships they’ve been in, why previous relationships didn’t last and the Whos, Whats and Whens. I admit this may seem like some sort of CSI interrogation to begin with, but whether or not we admit it, past relationships are the basis on which we build new ones. If we were hurt before, we put up fences to protect ourselves, If we were cheated on we’d distance ourselves in present relationships or even cheat first to avoid being the vulnerable party. Asking questions provides insight into personality types and forearms you in regards to any discrepancies you may face in the new relationship.
"Would you be friends?" [Jennifer, 199sometime in primary school]
Friendship is the basis of successful relationships. For a relationship to work both parties need to be realistic friends. Barbie and Godzilla are never going to be friends so it preposterous to expect that they’ll be a couple that works. Come past physical attraction and ask if you would be genuine friends with this person.
"The company you keep defines who you are" [Mummy, 199since records began]
Many girls complain about their boyfriends behave around his friends and vice versa. If his friends are hood rats, chances are he’s a hood rat. Likewise if her friends are local bikes, chances are she too is a local bike. The role outside parties mainly friends play in relationships is hugely underestimated. Friends are what I refer to as ‘outside thinkers’ that influence decisions we make and where we stand. Ever noticed that she now hates something she once thought was cute after her friends said it was disgusting?
"If he’s nice to you but an arse to the waiter, he’s not a nice person!" [Brian, 2010]
I’ve come to find that whilst out on dates, individuals are rarely themselves. They’re often nicer, smile more and are generally more promising but I’ve learnt to listen for snide remarks and look for reaction to wine spills or cold food. These often let you know what the other party doesn’t want you to. Often though, we’re too flattered by compliments and free food we ignore the very things we should look for.
Paying a million pounds for a car before knowing what it looks like means you may be presented with junk not worth one eight of what you paid for it.
Bitter Chocolate and A Kiss With A Mouldy Mouth